Wednesday, August 27, 2008
a hectic week doesnt means tat it was a good week. but mine was a busy-ly good one.
we took a walk at some nature parks, with the beautiful sun in sight and occasional drizzles. everyting outside doesnt matter anymore. it was just us and the trees, mud, monkeys and bugs. the fauna and flora. beautiful.
if only time could freeze..
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i had many horrible dreams these few nights. probably becoz i have more time to slp now. i usually took 4 to 5 hours of slp but now every goodnite can last up to 7, 8 hours. how blessed.
anyway, back to my dreams. i was in a van, with my partner, a female partner. a little girl was thrust to me by a fren. i was instructed to take her away and in her own words, ' do watever you wan and finish her.'
so i drove away. yes i DRIVE. to somewhere deserted and 'finished her off'. went back to my fren's place and acted as if nth had happened. after a few hours, little ger's mother called and asked if we knew where she was. no idea, sorry.
at tat moment, i was a little scare. a little relieved. a little guilty. a little high. i was sure no one would suspect me. i hae no motive, no relation with the ger. i left nth there at the 'dumping' site except her of coz. and i m not going to act again.
i am a nobody. who would bother to check on me.
THEN,
there was no ending becoz i woke up after tat. so no one knows if my character got caught. but i know why i kept having these dreams. these homicidal dreams.
too much of doctor detective.
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mummy bought a new chair for me. delivery uncle, ermm i tink 'korkor' is more appropriate, was very comical 'coz of the reactions coming from my neighbours when he was banging at my door. 'wao! everyone come out when i knock.'
i cant remember if i reacted straight after the banging or he might have tried for quite awhile. but anyway, i got my new chair! and i havent got the time to really sit on it until, well, now. hahahz..
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results coming out very soon but i'm not ready for school yet. i'm only halfway thru my holidaying mood. and i'm not prepared to see my results.
i dun wan to go scchhoolll. sth i always get from des. and des, i dun wanna go sscchhoooll, too!
hahaz.. speaking of setting a good role model.
Every place I go I think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you
blabber jabber
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1:08 AM
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Monday, August 18, 2008
Miley is cute. her songs are catchy. she's Hannah Montana, who is idolised by many impressionable kids, like xw. and she resembles Mandy Moore, 'cause of her moley mole.
toking abt mole.. did Enrique remove his? hmmm..
anyhow, he will always be my hero~
rihanna and chris brown is still happily together. beautiful couple. 2 ordinary blacks with atypical nigger styles.
Phelps is nothing. reallly.
'cause nothing is impossible and he did the impossibles.
Yi is soooo charming. my heart melts whenever i see him.
oh so charmin'~ he's so charmin'~
yeste was deb's birthday and tmr's da's. got a sweetsweet reply from deb. from her to all her prendz. Mmmuuach.... you are one year older now!
love Torrens! she's young and pretty and talented and elegant and skillful and attractive and aggressive and captivating and intelligent and ravishing and oh did i mention tat she's also beautiful?
wat a darling.
GO Argentina GO!! hockey down. footyball down. bball will be my only last hope. grab those balls, Argentinians!
Español! you're my nx favourite. and Ricky from the esp bball team is dashing. dashes and dashing.
drink drive die. there's a thick line connecting these 3 words.
so who wanna start the ball rolling?
fengtianwei. you're great. i dun care if you are a tiong 'cause you're fantastic. i dun care if it looked like a match between china AND china 'cause you put in your heart to play. 'cause you contributed to sin's silver medal. ithankyou.
i want the best damn ticket for the best damn tour. argh!!
EPL started. a good start for me. hahaz.. cleared last season's losing streak. currently, i hae won 1 out of 1 betting. so i am 100% accurate. ask me for tips, sure win =)
the mutton-s are gettin funnier and nonsense-r. i cannot stop myself from laughing. their jokes are total rubbish. they are SSSOOO funny.
how random can i get.
blabber jabber
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11:48 PM
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Saturday, August 16, 2008
blabber jabber
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12:40 AM
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008
many things happened. both happy and sad. dunnoe where to start and how everyting ended but well, i will get thru it. i will.
i'm tired, so an early good nite to you ppl.
nitez.
Be happy without being perfect.
blabber jabber
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11:05 PM
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Saturday, August 09, 2008
43 years of
independence
Happy Birthday,
Singapore!!
blabber jabber
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11:08 PM
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Thursday, August 07, 2008
If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find
We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say
To bring us back to where we were
when life was not this hard
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you
I need you now, we're miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart
blabber jabber
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11:37 PM
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008
my whole head almost exploded on sat. and the pain came and went throughout the afternoon. tat's why i woke up late, des. i wasnt doing nth at home. i was nursing a headache =(
put on my best behaviour at des' hse. nise wanted to get her nails painted. tried on green and blue. decided on blue and it came off a little weird, to her. i used to hae blue toenails too. you just need some getting use to it and everyting will be alrite.
re-watched Pan's labyrinth. watch it and love it. we took over 3 hours to get the nails done. the result was.. er, COOL. yea, cool blue. had a quick dinner, met gugu to pick up the rest.
we had a long chat tat nite. there were some awkward silence after some roaring laughter, some past were dug up, circled ard and buried back deep down, some appreciation for the company, the surrounding, some nite. we'll go back there again.
sun was a full-day-tuition. sucks. headache was stil hanging ard and i had a frightening thought. wat if the headache was caused by a t*****?!??! is there sth in my brain? sth under my thick skull tat is causing the pain? sth bad. sth scary. sth dangerous. sth tat can take away my life. sth tat i cannot think of. i started scaring myself with tis shit for the whole day. i hae so many places i yet to go, things i yet to try, ppl i yet to meet. i m not even 21 yet.. oohh, god.
had an early rest on sun and everyting was FINE on monday. did miracle happen or wat?
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some things in life is not by choice. some would sae they can control their own fate, their own destiny but is tis really the case? if you're tinking tat money can make all wonders. create the truth, the life you want it to be. buy your way thru but are you sure you will be able to move into the fancy house with it's done. drive tat lambor ard the town. study in a reputable institution.will you stil be ard? you nv know wat will happen at the nx second.
some things in life is not by choice. if you cant hae it your way, life stil goes on. accept it and take the best alternative. you cant just stop there and start blaming god for being unfair. the world is nv fair and the only way to go ard it is to be fair to yourself. treat yourself the way you deserved.
i cant choose the ppl i meet and i cant choose whether they will love me or loathe me. i cant choose how i will become in the future, wat i can do. i can only wait and see wat is lined up for me.
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sometimes, she felt like cancelling the ppl in her circle, deleting ppl from her mind. she's fed up with hypocrites and lies. the clowns in her life. clowns with beautiful masks tat make ppl laugh. clowns with sharpened knives hidden in their hats ready to attack the innocent audience.
why must she see the ugly side of life? why cant she just laugh with the rest and get assaulted without knowing why? why must she hae a mind of her own? why did she choose to watch the clowns act?
ima just tired. you know why my head hurts so much recently. sometimes, even my heart.
I can’t explain all my pain.
blabber jabber
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1:15 AM
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Saturday, August 02, 2008
having a terrible headache for the whole day. sucks. i cant even get up properly without feeling faint. i tink i need chocos. more choco. tried to avoid taking any chocos for fear of having more pimples but hell, headache sucks more.
i need my daily dose. NOW!!
if i were to hae any appt todae, i couldn't be able to make it but luckily, im staying home. packed my messy table. no more stacks of notes, receipts, bills, wrappers, clips, coins, hairbands, books and stationary strewn all over. i hae a neat and tidy table, for the time being. it will get messy very soon. but at least it make me feel good. i cleaned up my table. well, the other part of the room is pretty okie. so there's no need for me to do much abt it. hahahz..
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received a slip from bank and i realized i actually spent so much over 4days. i need to control myself, better.
whenever i said, "我没有钱, 先借我." i will get a look but it will still be paid. and even jia told me tat i hae been using tat phrase for the last 1 or 2 months, thou we didnt get to meet up as often now. it just happens tat i hae no cash in my wallet and i will pay them back as soon as i find an ATM. really.
and so tis week i didnt spend much. we went for a movie, UOB cardholders only 6bucks, shopping, window shopping for me, and some nice meals. nice and cheap meals. i wan more black sesame paste. SO NICE!
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i wasnt myself tat day and she knew. even thou it was a big day for her, a day she had been looking forward to and even thou i didnt hae the heart to chip in much, she understood. she didnt blame me. all she did was smiled and assured me tat it was alrite. she understood.
i tried to do watever i had planned but it didnt go well. i tried to do watever i can, but i just cant get it rite. so i gave up and just follow the flow. no surprises. no stupidrubbish from me. i even forgot the flowers. everyting wasnt going well for me but i just hang in there. at least to make my presence felt. to let her know tat i m there.
luckily i had told her beforehand wat she needs to do, wat she needs to expect and how to handle if any situation arises. i had called to remind her the stuff she needs before she left her place. i tried to help watever i can, however i can. and i didnt mind. not at all. i just wished tat i could do better than tat.
if nth had happened, i wouldnt be like tat. but i didnt mind. and she understands. a simple gesture to show your appreciation. a simple note to make my day. a simple fren to fill up my life.
i m contented.
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away
blabber jabber
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12:33 AM
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