Thursday, May 29, 2008

with tat pretty fake daisy

finally got to watch Mr Bean's holiday. it's hilarious. i can never imagine a stupider person than him. he's so BLUR but LUCKY. reminds mi of jia. always losing or forgetting sth but there's always other tings/ppl to save her day.

------

having a veri relaxed and slack-ish break. nth's/nobody's bothering mi.. hae 2 more tuition assignments waiting for mi to take up. i m stil considering. if yes -> no summer job. i dunnoe!!

oh. wx got realli bad grades. eng - 7. chi - 4. comb sci - 9. humanities - 9. E & A maths - 9. i told her she can almost score full marks for L1R5. how?!! so derok. i really dunnoe where to start teaching her. she didnt do my hw for 3 lessons. and i gave her my last warning. either finished them before i come or i will juz sit there and watch her do. i will not walk out becoz one, i will not get paid for going down and two, she will stil not do it. so, i will juz wait and see how much she can do in 3 days.

after knowing wx's results, i told des tat i realized she's actually a veri hardworking ger. hahaz. who else can do worse den tat. and she's in SEC 4.

OH MY GOD

You're all tat i hae ever had.

blabber jabber @
1:56 AM

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

4 years back, I'd just graduated from DMN. my beloved secondary school. it was there tat i learnt many things, abt life, abt myself. it was where i had started changing. developing my personality. my bad and good habits. mixed with the bad and goody good students. got bullied and teased at. and getting back at them, of coz. all those silly stuff of befriending and joining the more 'popular' grp of frenz, calling names, backstabbing, disturbing the class and teachers, hangin out late/early, depending how you see it and getting to know a whole bunch of great ppl..

DMN'03 3/4D
a realli fun grp of ppl. a class of clowns. a room of warmth. and in there, we formed a grp, by the majority of gers, 7-11. 11 gers. and my favourite number 7. =)

flipping thru my autograph book tat i had during our last yr together in DMN, it brought back many pleasant but sore memories..

i didnt know why i allowed myself to use my SNOOPY notebook. mostly, i would juz collect and keep them safely in my cabinet. but, these ppl who wrote are special.

Debby Hartono. she's away for further studies right now. she played excellent bball. one who could listen and understands me real well.

RuiTing. working. a damn sporty and talkative ger. both of us hae veri prominent 'tiger' tooth. we can bitch forever and doesn't feel tired at all.

Eileen Kek. working. we werent as close.

ShiLi. studying. stil remembered how we get to know each other. and tat forbidden sci lab. sometimes, somethings can nv be repaired.

Ellyn Tan. last heard from her tat she's into designing at a certain co. firstly, she drew a POOH in my SNOOPY book when she knew tat i hate it. veri much. aniway, i always felt tat she has split personality. the quiet and playful side of her. we used to spend lots of time together but she seldom share her secrets with mi. she has a near perfect family, bf and frenz but for no reasons, she always caused the atmosphere to turn gloomy. she told me tat i had saved her life once. i cant actually remember when. we all kept our darkest secrets deep down, hoping tat by never mentioning it again, we will be able to stay happy. tat's silly us. in our last yr in DMN, she told mi why. her troubles. her woes. i wanted to rush down to look for her but she wun tell mi where she was. fortunately, nth happened to her.

actually, i was veri glad tat my words meant so much to her. tat i had helped someone i love. to me, tat 'thank you' was more than sufficient for me to hold on to her for all my life.

Vanessa. regretted losing tis fren. and i know she'd not forgiven mi, totally.

Jenny. studying. she's blur as ever. veri often the one who creates all the laughter and jokes. our veri own BLURBLOCK. =)
Sharon. working, i reckon.

LiTing. studying. another one who had great impact to my life. tis ger is always willing to share with you her happiness and joy, listen to you whine and always there to juz be there for you.

JingYing. studying. she'd sticked to mi or rather i had lashed on to her ever since then...

sometimes, i would tink back and regret not spending more time with them. regretted for not cherishing wat i had, wat i can create and wat i had missed out. most ppl look up to me as a cheerful and strong ger. but i'm slowli losing it...

i juz hope tat the old me can return and bring back the light in my life.

and lastly, thank you 7-11. thank you for making my years in DMN memorable.

my forever beauty.

I gave you love, all you gave me was pretend

blabber jabber @
8:37 PM

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Monday, May 26, 2008

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now i sit all alone
Wishin' all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before i leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind
This time
Stop living a lie

I know i got to be strong,
But around me
Life goes on
And on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after i have one last cry

One last cry
Before i leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Quit living a lie

I guess i'm down

I guess i'm down
To my last cry

blabber jabber @
6:41 PM

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Friday, May 23, 2008

When the door i hae been waiting for closed, many others opened up. but i chose to walk around and close them one by one. standing in front of the door tat had closed on mi, i tried to force it open. knocking, banging and pleading outside. the man in the house did not unbolt. all i could hear was his laughter. his new found happiness. wat happened to the man i used to know. wat made him change, wat made him treat mi like tat.

i didnt ask and so i will nv know.

i will open the door, once in a while. hoping to see someone waiting for mi outside. all i faced was disappointment. he will never turn back. the false hopes tat i held slowly led mi away. away to my own world. somewhere i tot i will be safe. somewhere no one will know mi. somewhere i will never remember him.

i will open the door, once in a while. hoping to see someone waiting for mi outside. every now and then, there will be someone walking up. but for some reasons, i didnt let them in. you'll ask mi why. i dunnoe myself. i reckon I'm afraid to let that man standing outside to ruin the beautiful world i had built up inside. it's the place i find peace and quiet. some place which had nursed my wound. i dun wan ani other person to destroy my effort.

i will open up the door, once in a while. hoping to see someone waiting for mi outside. for some special ones, i invited them in, but they can onli stay in the hall. usually, they wun stay long. and the door was closed, again.

i learn to let go for some tings are juz never meant to be. the door is still closed but unbolted.

blabber jabber @
7:36 PM

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

that i want and i need him
everything that we should be
I bet she's beautiful
that girl he talks about
and she's got everything that I'll have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh coz it's just so funny
That I can't even see
anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin star
He's a song in the car
I keep singin
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell, that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'coz

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin star
He's a song in the car
I keep singin
Don't know why I do

So i drive home alone
As i turn off the light
I put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Coz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's a song in the car
I keep singin
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up,
but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see.

blabber jabber @
1:24 AM

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

resumed tuition and i got my first report card. little one did well for her SA1. i am sooo proud of her. she almost scared the wits out of mi when she told mi tat she failed her maths. her definition of failing = not getting band 1. she sets even higher expectations than I. mind you, she's onli in pri 1.

the siblings didnt do well. as wat i hae expected, the brother failed and his elder sis lost marks on silly mistakes. i m goin to change the brother, by hook or by crook.

i haven't seen wx yet. she gives mi the most stress and i hae pretty high hopes from her.

------

jia and i often squabble over tuition matters. we hae veri different views on tutoring. she tinks tat the responsibility of the tutor is to tutor, academically. but for me, i tink tat it's the discipline and attitude of the child you need to first coach followed by their academic. to mi, carelessness and forgetfulness can be treated. i dun see it as a 'inborn characteristic' but rather a sign of poor discipline. a signal to show your negligence in your life. if you're nonchalant abt tat den good for you, otherwise most ppl would like to 'change for the better'. however, she insisted tat tat job should be left for their parents, not us tutors. she read my view differently and rebutted tat no one can be totally 100% clear minded and attentive.

and i went, 'ARGH! watever.'

------

one moment, she addressed mi as 'the beautiful lady here,' and the nx, her grandma fed mi with leftover popiahs. tis is the first time i literally forced popiahs down my throat.

nonetheless, i stil love popiahs.

------

we were casually chatting abt nth when out of a sudden i commented, ' i tink i have lots of patience.'

they choked on ?? (actually, we haven even started eating) and refuted almost immediately, '哈,你有patience 那我就是angel了.'

am i realli tat bad?

Oh it's what you do to me ... ...

blabber jabber @
1:44 AM

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

i need a drink.
a strong one..

preferably neat.

blabber jabber @
3:03 AM

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Remember when,
we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone,
and i want you so much
The night is long and i need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

Chorus:
What can i do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did i say,
what did you do?
How did i fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And i start to tremble
Brings back the child that,
i resemble

I cannot pretend
that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

Chorus:
What can i do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did i say,
what did you do?
How did i fall in love with you?

Oh i want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you i wanna spend
The rest of my life

Chorus:
What can i do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did i say,
what did you do?
How did i fall in love with you?

What can i do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time

Everything's changed, we never knew......

How did i fall,
In love ,
With you?

blabber jabber @
12:25 AM

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Friday, May 16, 2008

FINALLY!!!!! i can come online!!

i have been freaking hardworking. study with jing or jia in the day then da and Barry til 3 4 sometimes 5am, EVERYDAY. almost without missing my doctor show from 10 to 11pm. =)

for tat whole bloody week, i onli hae ME POA STATS MATHS and YANQI in my head. my eyes only saw JING JIA DA BARRY and sometimes GARY.

many things happened within tat short week. i forgotten to take my dinner. lost my ruler at da's place. finished ME's exam report examples. scare by a stupid cat. won a bet over a marketing theory. understand price variance,at last. met a group of funky chaps. ate many popiahs at one go. spilled 2 cups of spite. my useless calculator hang up. finished the whole of POA SG, which i regretted doing, i should hae tried the exam papers instead. nice chill out with frenz. coaching da and etc etc etc. teaching da was like pulling ten bulls ard the world. tiring and near impossible. pray tat the markers are lenient.

BUT, studying together is fun. i tried to study alone at home but it didnt work. i juz nua at my study table. i need to be influenced.

didnt get much slp at all. i know tat i m tired but i juz cant get to slp. too stressed up i tink. i almost thought i was a robot.

------

3 papers down and 1 more to go.

ME and POA are as terribly cham. i made many assumptions when i m attempting ME questions. watever method i can tink of, i will put them allll down.

POA was worse. my balance sheet CANT balance. AND i didnt finish the paper.
this one sure cui~

------

got to stop the excessive studying and enjoy a little while. no more papers for the time being. the last one is coming on 13th jun. soooo, i m goin to play doubly hard before i start revising strategy. tat's my strategy. hahahaz..

taking a nice short break...

Don't leave me here with these tears..

blabber jabber @
11:30 PM

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Saturday, May 10, 2008

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside, all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do,
you do if you knew
What would you do..

All the pain, I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what, was never said
Back and forth, inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away

I feel like I am all alone
All by myself
I need to get around this
My words are cold,
I don't want them to hurt you
If I, show you
I don't think you'd understand,
cos no one understand

All the pain, i thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what, was never said
Back and forth, inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away

I'm going nowhere
On and on and..
I'm getting nowhere

On and on and..

Take me away
I'm going nowhere
On and off and on

All the pain, i thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what, was never said

Back and forth, inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable, come and take me away

Take me away, take me away..

blabber jabber @
1:59 AM

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POpped pOPPED pOpped

pimples poppppping out. terrible. all over my forehead and cheeks. =(
aaahhhh.

------

juz came back from adeline jiejie's wedding. we missed the registration but reached juz in time for the tea ceremony. we were late for a veri stupid reason.

dinner was fine. missed my cousins so much! be patient. i will be extremely free after my exams.
and we'll go........ hee hee hee..

------

PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING - OVER!

one down and 3 more to go~~
ME and POA demand lots of practice and so, i will devote my remaining time to drilllll on them.

put a hold to all my tuition. no more xw,wx,cj,zc. but i got myself a new big kid to teach.
tis one kid brings the most stress. hope he can scrap thru them all.

press on and JIAYOU!!

------

had already have everyting planned out for the break after POA's paper. moviedinnerpartyyyyy
every one need sth to look forward to. my only motivation now. hahahz..

i miss my frenz!! every one is blocking mi off from their outing. they dun wan to see mi until i finish my papers. wouldnt they miss mi toooo?

I don't wanna take up anymore of your time

blabber jabber @
1:24 AM

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Monday, May 05, 2008

read a very interesting book called 'The Grammar bible. Everything you want to know but don't know whoM to ask.'

it teaches from the very basic tenses to oxymoron.
uh huh! you must be thinking what the hell is oxymoron? wat moron?
wwweelll, it's sth similar to paradoxes but not in phrases.

the most commonly paradoxes we use are 'We need to be cruel to be kind.' and maybe, 'That place is crowded, nobody likes to go there.' sth like tat. contradicting phrases tat make sense.
oxymoron are easier to come up with. like cold as hell, bad health, pitiful grace, bursting hunger etc. just put words with opposite meanings together.

oh. i also learned another fascinating word - palindrome. it's just words tat are spelled reversed to one another. like Dennis is sinned. Lived devil and many many more. cool right?

------

STUDY STUDY STUDY!!

my life has been revolving ard giving tuition, makan, studying and slp.
tis is no life. not my kind of life. but i m goin to press on and continue tis routine until exam is alllll over. =)

I CAN DO IT if i want to do it.

once the first paper has finished, everyting will go veri fast. so, i'd better buck up now and revise watever i can.

JIAYOU people!

Old habits die hard.

blabber jabber @
12:12 AM

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Mary Jane

I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
and the somethin' that you said about being friends
tell me how
help me say the words out loud

Could it be
that nothing's gonna change
cause time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
Can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh ooh ooh

I need to wake up from this state of mind
the situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time for that at all
tell me how
help me say the words out loud

Could it be
that nothing's gonna change
time has got a way of taking back everything
you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you
oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh ooh ooh

'Cause time has taken back everything
I thought we had

Mary Jane..

Could it be
nothing's gonna change
cause time has got a way of taking back
everything you thought you had
can you see
the girl you used to be
the one I lost when I let go of you

oh whatever happened to
mary jane
ooh ooh oh

whatever happened to
ooh ooh Mary Jane....

blabber jabber @
10:41 PM

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

I know you believe you understand wat you tink i said, but i am not sure you realize tat wat you heard is not wat i meant.

i dont hae the time to explain further.

blabber jabber @
12:21 AM

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