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Sunday, October 28, 2007


had brunch at cartel, tampines. wanted to go somewhere further but we dunnoe where.


Our main courses:


* ccooffffeeee *


after the heavy brunch, we went to tamp lib to borrow some books, for myself and my little kid. it's difficult to look for suitable books for a kindergarden-er. she can read pretty well in english but not chinese ones. sometimes, i feel like i m the one who is reading and not her. she will go, "teacher, i read one page then you read one page?" then, she will start to pick the pages with the fewer words and 'chop' those pages. *pissed* i made her read the whole book twice even with her constant whining, showing her black/pitiful face and swingging her legs freely and kicking mine. i hit them using my pen and she started crying quietly. lowering her head and stared blankly at the book. after awhile, she was back to normal and started threatening mi.. HAHA! she always say that her mother will feel veri sad when her daughter has been scolded or caned. but her grandma had told mi tat i can do aniting juz to make sure she finishes wat she has been told and not tok back. she is veri clever for her age and tat explains why her arrogance. she always scolds her er-jie for being so stupid. she likes to pretend tat she knows everything or nothing. she loves to ask 'WHYS?' , 'WAT IS?' and 'HOW?' esp abt how ancient ppl look like and their means of livin.
.
it's good to be inquisitive. it's good to know more.
sometimes, it's irritating. one third of the time, i hae no answers to her 'WHYS?'.
i hae no idea why the sky is up there and the ground is down here.
so it's better to hae an average kid. not too bright, not too dumb. and most importantly is to teach her respect and manners.

parted. went to suntec to meet shan and xiaomei at gelare. walk round suntec, MS and to Bugis street. aahh... it's sad to be penniless....
.
we will meet up soon, as soon as there's $$$$ in my pockets. =)
frenz come and go. onli your family members stay.

blabber jabber @
8:56 PM
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Wednesday, October 24, 2007


LaiJING's 20th bDAE!!!

as usual, everyone reached way after the proposed time. darlin, jiaying, dar and I went round to look for cakes. got her A SLICE of choco cake from 'iforgotwhere'. met the rest at the kenny roger, suntec. they got us a round table for 10. juz nice.
hadnt met up for quite sometime.. esp dar. we talked for hours. it seemed like minutes. a lot to catch up, a lot to share. it feels good.



den we went up to the arcade, planning to hit the machines but it was too crowded. took a buz down to katong. walked down the street to find a suitable pub. liaoz bee "wah! i shouldnt be doing tis with you all. 应该和CHAOZHONG 他们才对!!" most of the pubs there are 'lumsiap-dirrty'

but nevertheless, we went to a small pub which went retro for tat sat nitez. 2 ladies+one uncle at a corner of the small room = good show.
we drank quite a bit. and did some silly stuffs. wanted to hop to another pub nearby but most of them require membership which onli dar has. wat a waste. so *tengteng* end of story.

我本来以为, 只要忘记, 就什么事都没有了....
事实上, 刻意的遗忘只会让自己更痛苦...

blabber jabber @
12:12 AM
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Sunday, October 21, 2007


tis post is boring and incoherent. you dun hae to understand it.

hadnt been the best these couple of weeks. i dunnoe wat got into mi. hae been thinkin abt my life, myself. i dun hae a goal, i'm not sure where i'm heading and wat i m doing now. i'm juz wasting my time, dae after dae.

i regretted for not being able to be a good daughter and i m workin hard to make my family closer. hadnt hae dinner wif them for a couple of weeks. givin tuition is part of the reason, a minor one in fact. i love to hang out late everydae. i dunnoe why. we can settle at a pub, drink, chat and stone there for hours. i can stay up all nite to plae mj. or head down to town to catch a movie.

i dun see them when i wake up for sch and when i m back, they were all asleep.
i need to wake up. i need to cherish the ppl ard mi before they're gone, before i regret.

--------------------------------------------------------------

for now, i need to set my life straight. the most important is my family and studies. anything good tat comes along is a plus.

learn to loosen up. you'll see life in a different light.

i love to go on a walk along the beach. Being out in the natural world is the right way to rejuvenate myself, get a new perspective on where i'm going. it's a nice place to let out.

i dun need you to be there 24/7 for mi. all i need is your presence. i dun expect tender loving care. juz a simple hug or a warming smile to chase away my troubles, to let mi noe tat i'll be alrite and tat i still hae you.

trust isnt built up overnite. but it can be broken by a single action, a certain lie, overnite. i m not ready to go into a new relationship becoz i noe i cant gif in my best yet. i'd let go of the previous one. no one was at fault. it's juz tat we'd met too early. the timing was wrong.

if we hadnt make the promise and stayed as forever frenz. maybe it would be different now. but it happened and we are now frenz forever.


不去强迫别人爱, 也不强迫自己去爱

blabber jabber @
6:48 PM
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Give mi some time. i'll change for the better.

it's hard to adjust. but i'll try, for the better.

i kept mum becoz i wasnt ready to share.

i'll tink thru wat you'd told mi.

thank you.

blabber jabber @
4:17 AM
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Sunday, October 14, 2007


THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up,
and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them.
All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said, “Just know that I am here... always.”


Learn to cherish the things you hae now. Forget abt the past, move on. It's unnecessary to visualize the future. It's the present tat counts.

blabber jabber @
3:17 AM
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Saturday, October 13, 2007


i've forgotten when was the last time i'd said "thank you", "i love you" or juz a simple hug to you. i've forgotten if i had ever celebrated your birthday. i remembered makin some cards but i had clean forgotten the dates, your age. how filial. tis is wat you get for bringing mi up, doting and givin mi watever reasonable requests. this is your onli daughter.

i'd forgotten if our relations were ever good. i dunnoe the reason of mi being so cold towards you. we seldom share our times together. we dun get to tok to each other abt our daily lives. doubt the words we exchanged is half of wat i m typin here. ridiculous?

sometimes i felt bad when i shouted back at you. i noe i'm in the wrong but i nv admit. i lied to you almost everytime abt everything. my personal life doesnt seem to hae included you. i dunnoe why.

sometimes, there's an urge to hug you and thank you for everything tat you've done but my pride stopped mi. no matter how badli i've treated you, you'll take time off to look after mi, when i'm ill or injured. some would tink tat parents ought to do tis but i'm stil touched for the things you'd done.

all the rantings/nagging are for my own good. your worries are not uncalled for. i noe how dangerous it is to hangout late. you did not lock mi out like wat you threatened to. and i nv care abt how you felt until i woke up the nx mornin. the awful feeling of regret started to creep into mi.. "i'm sorry" was nv spoken. and i'm out the following nite.

you washed your hands off mi. you said you'd given up on mi. you said i m juz like my father. you juz let mi go. i noe how terrible you feel but i did nth to change. your colleagues were the onli ones who stood by you. i nv try to understand the plight you're in. you pour out your heart to them and they told mi how much you teared becoz of mi.

i started to reflect. imagine if i have a daughter like mi, how will i feel, wat can i do.

how can i bring tis gap closer? how can i build a bridge between us? how will i start? wat can i do?

suddenly it strikes mi. it's my pride getting in the way. i'm an emotional person. i can be touched by a simple gesture. i cry easily but i nv let her noes. i nv told her how grateful i m. i had nv shown my appreciation.

i wanted her to hae a better life. i wanted her to be happie. but the biggest problem she hae in her life is mi. i brought her worries, abt my studies, my sch fees, my activities, my everyting. sometimes i bang my head hard on the wall and told myself how useless i m, how much pain i had brought to my family. i felt like ending my life. but who will take care of them if i was to go?

i worked hard during the summer break so as to lighten the financial load. i wanted to bring them out for a feast but i nv carry out anything. wanted to buy them sth but i nv save enuff for tat. i m so hopeless... pointless to be here...

i want to be better. it's all up to mi. procrastinate is futile, i need to act. i muz and i promise i will. and lastly, i love you, mother, i love you, father. =)

Love is sth you can nv fully understand.

Maybe it's better if we stayed as frenz. then, maybe i wouldnt be as hurt....

blabber jabber @
3:06 AM
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007


i'd missed out on Jia's 20th bdae celebration. =X

let mi start from the preparations of her presents.

ali and jing went down to ikea for the frames and necessary materials. they had the selected photos washed at marine parade. i went over to ali's hse after work. they had cut out some of the photos, rearranging them on the board.


* with red and black as background*

* 'Happy Birthday' & 'Stupig' crown added *
* all framed up*

COMPLETED!!

then,we came up wif silly poses...





*it was tiring!*
we had searched high and low for a suitable gift - a purse. but, it wasnt easy. becoz jia has 'special' preferences.. hahahaz..

belated celebration at NewYork NewYork

ali and jing bought a wallet at fossil, finally. we got her a cake at polar. had everyting arranged before she reached. hl was late from tuition. denise didnt come, she was havin chicken pox.






* this isnt the wallet we got for her, it's mine!*


'cake giving ceremony' s usual tthheeennn.... PRESENTS time!!

*unwrapping the surprise we got for her*
*teng teng!!*
*jia wasnt the onli one. Jing was all smiling too*

blabber jabber @
11:09 PM
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Sunday, October 07, 2007


tis week had been a busi one..

29/09 Lj's 20th Bdae celebration
30/09 Siew' 20th Bdae and Jy's 20th Bdae celebration
01/10 Happy Children's Dae!! and Lj's Bdae
02/10 'Hill' climbing at Bt timah
03/10 Feng's 20th Bdae
04/10 Jy's Bdae
05/10 Quan's Bdae and Feng's celebration
06/10 Dajie's Bdae celebration

blabber jabber @
11:57 PM
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Thursday, October 04, 2007


HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY,
TAN JING YING!!

blabber jabber @
2:24 AM
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Wednesday, October 03, 2007


HURRAY!!!

i've tuitions for this whole week!



一直停留在不愉快的回憶裡是沒有用的,所以現在就覺悟吧,因為只有你自己可選擇你要有一個傷心還是開心的人生。我要你快樂,我也相信你可以做到的!!

blabber jabber @
1:02 AM
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Monday, October 01, 2007


juz realized how much changes a person can undergo. i always thought i understand you but in actual fact, i dun. everyone hae secrets. yes, i hae mine too. but there're some things you'd share with the closest or closer frenz to whom you trust. there're some things you rather kept under your cover, away from the eyes of the public. those dirty lies and excuses you made up to cover the previous lie. i hate to play games, especially to ppl i termed as frenz.

i was betrayed twice, by the ones i trusted the most. the ones whom i poured my heart to. the ones whom i thought will always stand by mi. but i was wrong. the hurt tat they brought to mi can kill an elephant. i became reserve and quiet. i m doubtful abt the meaning of frenz. i lost my self. den slowly, i picked up the pieces and grabbed the hand tat was always there, reaching to mi. she didnt gif up on mi. she didnt walk away.

i was glad i heed her advice. i was grateful for her presence.

i know tat hypocrites are everywhere around us. i cant make them disappear but i can choose to ignore them. i ought to control my temper, my attitude and approach towards them, if not i m no better.

i will stay calm. totally apathetic. i will face it off nonchalantly. i will stop aniting tat might spoil my dae. i will stay composed. try mi.


you can choose to walk away as if i dun care.

blabber jabber @
1:38 AM
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