Monday, April 16, 2007
i'm recoverin. or so.. i tink. exchanges some smses and i didnt hae much special feelings abt it. yes, i m happie tat at least he stil cares but not tat in the sense of excitement over his 'sudden' concern. hmm.. actualli, i'm not sure wat kind of situation i m in. not sure who he is to mi, who i m to him. are we stil frenz or juz.. someone we do not wanna bring up again? someone who used to be tat special one to mi. dun ever tink tat we can be the same again. less sae to confide in him. how m i suppose to sae everyting out to the person who hurt mi the most, the liar. i do not hate him. i juz cant trust him animore. the lies he used to cover up his dirty ways.. i m realli sick of it. called it 'beautiful lies', 'white lies' or watever.. they are stil lies.. tat's not the way to tell mi if you dun wanna hurt mi. bein dishonest hurts more. you nv understand mi which you tot you did. and i dun tink i understand the 'new' you now. im in love wid the dead.. you hoped tat im fine. hope tat i m stil doin well. i can onli reply tat i hope for tat too, hopefulli. if i tell you tat i m doin damn well, superbly fine and i m enjoyin every min w/o you, i m lying.. but.. at least, i m gettin better. wun brood over the past tat much. can settle down to study for a few hours. able to fall aslp faster and to wake up on time or even better, earlier.. maybe you are not the reason why i hae been losin control of my life. it's mainli due to my lack of discipline. so now, i will buck up and pick myself up from tat awful fall. i tripped on myself and onli i can help myself. i was stupid, foolish and silly. it might be too late to start on my studies but i wil stil try..wish tat i can juz erase off all the stupid stuff i did... i hope i lost my love to someone better. someone who understand you better. hopefulli..
a rs starts wid LUST
cont and maintain wid LUXURIES
end wid LIES
tat's how most rs are built up and maintained. you can sae tat i m pessi but i strongli feel so.. maybe i might change my mind in the future. maybe.. or may not..
i juz wanna lead a simple life. a steady shoulder to lean on durin the buz ride. a listenin ear when i m down. someone to hold on when i m fallin. it looks simple..... it's juz too simple to happen in tis complicated world.
blabber jabber
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11:10 PM
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